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上乘之作,还需要锦上添花——“勇气”这一阐述角度,应该贯穿导引句、总起句和过渡句。导引句改为“一则广告词中说,进,是一种勇气,退,是一种更大的勇气”;总起句改为“进与退,怎样用一生的勇气去诠释呢”;过渡句改为“进需要勇气。而退呢？退则更需要勇气”。将标题改为“进退需要勇气”。文章用例阐述时,凸显的原本就是“勇气”;只是总起句前选择关系复句,还需要将其意变到“勇气”上来。角度单一,主旨才会更鲜明。
The superior work needs icing on the cake - the perspective of “courage” should be guided through sentences, total sentences, and transitional sentences. The guiding sentence was changed to “In one advertising word, ”Advance is courage, and retreat is a greater courage.“ The total sentence is changed to ”advance and retreat, how to interpret it with the courage of one’s life.“ The transitional sentence was changed to ”Insufficient courage is needed. And what is it? It takes courage to retreat.“ Change the title to ”Adventure requires courage". When the article use case is elaborated, the original highlight is “courage”; it is only necessary to select the relationship complex sentence before the sentence, but also need to change its meaning to “courage”. The single point of view will make the subject more clear.