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Be Careful What You Wish For
A couple had been married for 25 years and were celebrating their 60th birthdays， which fell on the same day.
During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple for all 25 years， she would give them one wish each.
The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her hand， and Boom！ She had the tickets in her hand.
Next， it was the husband’s turn. He paused for a moment， then said shyly， “Well， I’d like to have a woman 30 years younger than me.”
The fairy picked up her wand， and Boom！ He was ninety.
慎重许愿
一对结婚25周年的夫妻在庆祝他们60岁的生日。他们恰好在同一天出生。
庆祝活动中，一位仙女出现了。她说，由于他们是已经结婚25年的恩爱夫妻，因此她给许给这对夫妻每个人一个愿望。
妻子想周游世界。仙女招了招手。“呯！”的一声，她的手中出现了一张票。
接下来该丈夫许愿了。他犹豫片刻，害羞地说，“那我想要一位比我年轻30岁的女人。”
仙女拾起了魔术棒。“呯！”，他变成了90岁。
He Was Only Wrong by Two
Jack Hawkins was the football coach at an Amercian college， and he was always trying to find good players， but they weren’t always smart enought to be accepted by the college.
One day the coach brought an excellent young player to the dean of the college and asked that the student be allowed to enter without an examination. “Well，” the dean said after some persuasion， “I’d better ask him a few questions first.”
Then he turned to the student and asked him some very easy questions， but the student didn’t know any of the answers.
At last the dean said， “Well， what’s five times seven？”
The student thought for a long time and then answered， “Thirty-six.”
The dean threw up his hands and looked at the coach in despair， but the coach said earnestly， “Oh， please let him in， sir！ He was only wrong by two.”
他的得数只比正确答案多二
杰克·霍金斯是美国一所学院的橄榄球队教练，他竭力想物色好球员。但是好球员学业不行，院方不愿录取。
有一天，教练带着一位优秀的年轻球员去见院长，希望院方同意他免试入学。经过一番劝说后院长说：“那我最好先问问他几个问题。”
然后他转向学生，问了几个非常简单的问题。可是那个学生一个也答不上来。
最后院长说：“那么，五乘七得多少？”
学生想了很久，然后回答说：“三十六。”
院长摊开双手失望地看了看教练。可是教练认真地说，“噢，录取他吧，先生。他的答案只比正确答案多二。”
Warning
Several weeks after our son began his freshman year at Alma College in Michigan， my husband and I decided to visit him. I was careful to call him a few days in advance to “warn” him that we would be coming. When we arrived at the dorm， however， I was taken aback by the disarray of his room. “Forgot we were coming， didn’t you？” I teased. “Are you kidding？” he replied， “Why else would I have bothered to clean？”
提醒
我们的儿子是密歇根州阿尔马大学的新生，开学几个星期之后，我和丈夫决定去看看他。我特意提前给他打电话，“提醒”他我们将光临。但是当我们来到宿舍时，他的房间凌乱不堪，我非常吃惊。“忘了我们要来，是吧？”我取笑他。
“开什么玩笑？”他回答说，“要不我凭什么费神打扫？”
Midway Tactics
Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.
The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying， “Gigantic Sale！” and “Super Bargains！”
The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming， “Prices Slashed！” and “Fantastic Discounts！”
The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated， “ENTRANCE”.
中间战术
三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。旁观者等着瞧好戏。
右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌，上书：“大减价！”“特便宜！”
左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌，声称：“大砍价！”“大折扣！”
中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌，上面只简单地写着：“入口处”。
Five Months Older
The Second World War had begun， and John wanted to join the army， but he was only 16 years old， and boys were allowed to join only if they were over 18. So when the army doctor examined him， he said that he was 18.
But John‘s brother had joined the army a few days before， and the same doctor had examined him too. This doctor remembered the older boy’s family name， so when he saw John’s papers， he was surprised.
“How old are you？” he said.
“Eighteen， sir，” said John.
“But your brother was eighteen， too，” said the doctor. “Are you twins？”
“Oh， no， sir，” said John， and his face went red. “My brother is five months older than I am.”
大五个月
第二次世界大战开始了，约翰想参军，可他只有16岁，当时规定男孩到18岁才能入伍。所以军医给他进行体检时，他说他已经18岁了。
可约翰的哥哥刚入伍没几天，而且也是这个军医给他做的检查。这位医生还记得他哥哥的姓。所以当他看到约翰的表格时，感到非常惊奇。
“你多大了？”军医问。
“18，长官。”约翰说。
“可你的哥哥也是18岁，你们是双胞胎吗？”
约翰脸红了，说：“哦，不是，长官，我哥哥比我大五个月。”
A couple had been married for 25 years and were celebrating their 60th birthdays， which fell on the same day.
During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple for all 25 years， she would give them one wish each.
The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her hand， and Boom！ She had the tickets in her hand.
Next， it was the husband’s turn. He paused for a moment， then said shyly， “Well， I’d like to have a woman 30 years younger than me.”
The fairy picked up her wand， and Boom！ He was ninety.
慎重许愿
一对结婚25周年的夫妻在庆祝他们60岁的生日。他们恰好在同一天出生。
庆祝活动中，一位仙女出现了。她说，由于他们是已经结婚25年的恩爱夫妻，因此她给许给这对夫妻每个人一个愿望。
妻子想周游世界。仙女招了招手。“呯！”的一声，她的手中出现了一张票。
接下来该丈夫许愿了。他犹豫片刻，害羞地说，“那我想要一位比我年轻30岁的女人。”
仙女拾起了魔术棒。“呯！”，他变成了90岁。
He Was Only Wrong by Two
Jack Hawkins was the football coach at an Amercian college， and he was always trying to find good players， but they weren’t always smart enought to be accepted by the college.
One day the coach brought an excellent young player to the dean of the college and asked that the student be allowed to enter without an examination. “Well，” the dean said after some persuasion， “I’d better ask him a few questions first.”
Then he turned to the student and asked him some very easy questions， but the student didn’t know any of the answers.
At last the dean said， “Well， what’s five times seven？”
The student thought for a long time and then answered， “Thirty-six.”
The dean threw up his hands and looked at the coach in despair， but the coach said earnestly， “Oh， please let him in， sir！ He was only wrong by two.”
他的得数只比正确答案多二
杰克·霍金斯是美国一所学院的橄榄球队教练，他竭力想物色好球员。但是好球员学业不行，院方不愿录取。
有一天，教练带着一位优秀的年轻球员去见院长，希望院方同意他免试入学。经过一番劝说后院长说：“那我最好先问问他几个问题。”
然后他转向学生，问了几个非常简单的问题。可是那个学生一个也答不上来。
最后院长说：“那么，五乘七得多少？”
学生想了很久，然后回答说：“三十六。”
院长摊开双手失望地看了看教练。可是教练认真地说，“噢，录取他吧，先生。他的答案只比正确答案多二。”
Warning
Several weeks after our son began his freshman year at Alma College in Michigan， my husband and I decided to visit him. I was careful to call him a few days in advance to “warn” him that we would be coming. When we arrived at the dorm， however， I was taken aback by the disarray of his room. “Forgot we were coming， didn’t you？” I teased. “Are you kidding？” he replied， “Why else would I have bothered to clean？”
提醒
我们的儿子是密歇根州阿尔马大学的新生，开学几个星期之后，我和丈夫决定去看看他。我特意提前给他打电话，“提醒”他我们将光临。但是当我们来到宿舍时，他的房间凌乱不堪，我非常吃惊。“忘了我们要来，是吧？”我取笑他。
“开什么玩笑？”他回答说，“要不我凭什么费神打扫？”
Midway Tactics
Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.
The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying， “Gigantic Sale！” and “Super Bargains！”
The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming， “Prices Slashed！” and “Fantastic Discounts！”
The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated， “ENTRANCE”.
中间战术
三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。旁观者等着瞧好戏。
右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌，上书：“大减价！”“特便宜！”
左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌，声称：“大砍价！”“大折扣！”
中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌，上面只简单地写着：“入口处”。
Five Months Older
The Second World War had begun， and John wanted to join the army， but he was only 16 years old， and boys were allowed to join only if they were over 18. So when the army doctor examined him， he said that he was 18.
But John‘s brother had joined the army a few days before， and the same doctor had examined him too. This doctor remembered the older boy’s family name， so when he saw John’s papers， he was surprised.
“How old are you？” he said.
“Eighteen， sir，” said John.
“But your brother was eighteen， too，” said the doctor. “Are you twins？”
“Oh， no， sir，” said John， and his face went red. “My brother is five months older than I am.”
大五个月
第二次世界大战开始了，约翰想参军，可他只有16岁，当时规定男孩到18岁才能入伍。所以军医给他进行体检时，他说他已经18岁了。
可约翰的哥哥刚入伍没几天，而且也是这个军医给他做的检查。这位医生还记得他哥哥的姓。所以当他看到约翰的表格时，感到非常惊奇。
“你多大了？”军医问。
“18，长官。”约翰说。
“可你的哥哥也是18岁，你们是双胞胎吗？”
约翰脸红了，说：“哦，不是，长官，我哥哥比我大五个月。”