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选修七第一单元的写作是建议信的写作，要求同学们根据所给信件中使用的委婉建议的表达方式给一位承建本社区某建筑的建筑师写一封建议信，望其改善建筑，给残疾人提供方便。下面我们来点评一下同学们所写的习作：
A 刘博文
Rencently, I was told that an architect of a new railway station is going to be constructed in our country, I hope you will not mind me writing to make some suggestions.
First of all , with common paths uneasy for disabled people to pass, adequate access for wheelchairs is needed, which can make them feel as important as other people.
Secondly, I wonder if there would be a space at the end of each row for people in wheelchairs to sit next to their friends in waiting rooms.
Last but not the least, as disabled people face the trouble in moving, it would be handy to arrange for some staffs near the entrance to help them get to the waiting places easily.
Though in some ways, the added construction may occupy much space, the advantages overweight the disadvantages, for it will contribute to the harmony of society.
Enthusiastic to help, I hope my suggestions can meet with your approval.
B 唐月洁
Dear architect,
I heard that you are to be the architect for the new railway station in our area, I hope you will not mind me writing to ask if you have thought about the needs of disabled customers. In particular, I wonder if you have considered the following things.
Considering the situation, I want to put forward some suggestions on how to make it more comfortable for people, especially for disabled people.
First of all, the project should separate a road for the disabled to pass, which is larger than the normal ones. Because it is more difficult for the disabled than normal people to walk.
Second, they should transformed the ticket office into a convenient one, such as making the table lower and so on.
Finally, on the way to the railway, it would be handy to help the disabled to carry things with a slid table to carry things.
I hope my suggestions will meet with your approval.
【点评】
这篇习作对学生有三个基本要求：
1. 掌握信件的基本格式；
2. 学会使用委婉礼貌表达进行建议；
3. 结合本单元主题提出有效建议并尽量使用本单元所学的词汇和表达。
下面我们就从这三点要求来评讲一下这两位同学的习作：
1. 掌握信件的基本格式
很显然，这两位同学都没有将信件的基本格式写到位。
刘博文：这位同学的信件完全忽略了开头和结尾。没有称谓和落款，也没有最基本的自我介绍，有时候开门见山会让读信人摸不到头脑。
唐月洁: 信件格式不完整，有称谓但没有落款，这位同学也没有最基本的自我介绍。看来这是同学们在信件这一文体中容易出现的一个问题。当你给一位陌生人写信时，从读信人的角度讲，应首先表明自己的身份以便进行下一步的交流。
2. 学会使用委婉礼貌句式提建议
Writing部分要求学生使用上文中提示的委婉建议的表达进行写作，这一点上这两位同学完成的都不错。
刘博文：
I hope you will not mind me writing to make some suggestions.
I wonder if there would be a space at the end of each row for people in wheelchairs to sit next to their friends in waiting rooms.
...it would be handy to arrange for some staffs near the entrance to help them get to the waiting places easily.
唐月洁：
I hope you will not mind me writing to ask if you have thought about the needs of disabled customers.
It would be handy to help the disabled to carry things with a slid table to carry things.
这两位同学虽使用了这些表达，但其实除此之外还有类似表达可供选择，比如
It would be a good idea if...
It would be convenient that...
Thanks for going through my suggestions...
3. 结合本单元主题提出有效建议并尽量使用本单元所学的词汇和表达。
这封信要求学生给建筑师提出建议，让其在进行建筑设计时多从残疾人的角度出发，为他们提供更多的方便。这两位同学给出了不同的建议。
刘博文：
给出了三个建议，其中dequate access for wheelchairs is needed这个表达中的access用在了点上，但是a space at the end of each row for people in wheelchairs to sit next to their friends in waiting rooms.这句话的句意没有讲清楚，建议改为a space for wheelchairs in waiting rooms。
第三个建议中as disabled people face the trouble in moving, it would be handy to arrange for some staffs near the entrance to help them get to the waiting places easily.表达不错，但这个建议不应该是给建筑师提的，应该属于对公众的呼吁。
唐月洁：
也给出了三个建议。值得一提的是，她的这三个建议的角度都非常好。有两处需要修改：
1. ... which is larger than the normal ones. Because it is more difficult for the disabled than normal people to walk. 这个句子中larger 应改为wider, is应改为are.
2. 她作文的前两段占据篇幅过多，反而建议部分显得比较单薄，建议将一二段缩成一段，并对建议部分加以丰富。
现将贺维艺同学的作文稍加修改作为范文：
C贺维艺
Dear Mr Rogers,
I’m Andrew. I learnt from the news report that you are appointed as the chief architect for our city railway station. Would you mind my writing to ask if need of disabled people has been considered? I wonder if you would discuss the issue with me in sequence of getting on a train. Here is the advice.
It would be convenient that the entrance and the exit of the station are designed near the parking lot, which can be reserved and benefit those with walking disability. Besides, it would help to adapt some stairs to wheelchairs while fixing adjustable seats in the huge waiting hall. Since disabled people tend to call for more care, more specially-built toilets as well as more evident signs are required. Eventually when disabled people are going aboard, would you broadened the passage appropriately in case of the crowds rushing?
Thanks for going through my suggestions, which are supposed to meet with your kind approval. We are looking forward to a considerate railway station where disabled people can go on as satisfactory and comfortable journey as the able-bodied.
Would you mind taking those above into consideration?
Yours sincerely,
Andrew
A 刘博文
Rencently, I was told that an architect of a new railway station is going to be constructed in our country, I hope you will not mind me writing to make some suggestions.
First of all , with common paths uneasy for disabled people to pass, adequate access for wheelchairs is needed, which can make them feel as important as other people.
Secondly, I wonder if there would be a space at the end of each row for people in wheelchairs to sit next to their friends in waiting rooms.
Last but not the least, as disabled people face the trouble in moving, it would be handy to arrange for some staffs near the entrance to help them get to the waiting places easily.
Though in some ways, the added construction may occupy much space, the advantages overweight the disadvantages, for it will contribute to the harmony of society.
Enthusiastic to help, I hope my suggestions can meet with your approval.
B 唐月洁
Dear architect,
I heard that you are to be the architect for the new railway station in our area, I hope you will not mind me writing to ask if you have thought about the needs of disabled customers. In particular, I wonder if you have considered the following things.
Considering the situation, I want to put forward some suggestions on how to make it more comfortable for people, especially for disabled people.
First of all, the project should separate a road for the disabled to pass, which is larger than the normal ones. Because it is more difficult for the disabled than normal people to walk.
Second, they should transformed the ticket office into a convenient one, such as making the table lower and so on.
Finally, on the way to the railway, it would be handy to help the disabled to carry things with a slid table to carry things.
I hope my suggestions will meet with your approval.
【点评】
这篇习作对学生有三个基本要求：
1. 掌握信件的基本格式；
2. 学会使用委婉礼貌表达进行建议；
3. 结合本单元主题提出有效建议并尽量使用本单元所学的词汇和表达。
下面我们就从这三点要求来评讲一下这两位同学的习作：
1. 掌握信件的基本格式
很显然，这两位同学都没有将信件的基本格式写到位。
刘博文：这位同学的信件完全忽略了开头和结尾。没有称谓和落款，也没有最基本的自我介绍，有时候开门见山会让读信人摸不到头脑。
唐月洁: 信件格式不完整，有称谓但没有落款，这位同学也没有最基本的自我介绍。看来这是同学们在信件这一文体中容易出现的一个问题。当你给一位陌生人写信时，从读信人的角度讲，应首先表明自己的身份以便进行下一步的交流。
2. 学会使用委婉礼貌句式提建议
Writing部分要求学生使用上文中提示的委婉建议的表达进行写作，这一点上这两位同学完成的都不错。
刘博文：
I hope you will not mind me writing to make some suggestions.
I wonder if there would be a space at the end of each row for people in wheelchairs to sit next to their friends in waiting rooms.
...it would be handy to arrange for some staffs near the entrance to help them get to the waiting places easily.
唐月洁：
I hope you will not mind me writing to ask if you have thought about the needs of disabled customers.
It would be handy to help the disabled to carry things with a slid table to carry things.
这两位同学虽使用了这些表达，但其实除此之外还有类似表达可供选择，比如
It would be a good idea if...
It would be convenient that...
Thanks for going through my suggestions...
3. 结合本单元主题提出有效建议并尽量使用本单元所学的词汇和表达。
这封信要求学生给建筑师提出建议，让其在进行建筑设计时多从残疾人的角度出发，为他们提供更多的方便。这两位同学给出了不同的建议。
刘博文：
给出了三个建议，其中dequate access for wheelchairs is needed这个表达中的access用在了点上，但是a space at the end of each row for people in wheelchairs to sit next to their friends in waiting rooms.这句话的句意没有讲清楚，建议改为a space for wheelchairs in waiting rooms。
第三个建议中as disabled people face the trouble in moving, it would be handy to arrange for some staffs near the entrance to help them get to the waiting places easily.表达不错，但这个建议不应该是给建筑师提的，应该属于对公众的呼吁。
唐月洁：
也给出了三个建议。值得一提的是，她的这三个建议的角度都非常好。有两处需要修改：
1. ... which is larger than the normal ones. Because it is more difficult for the disabled than normal people to walk. 这个句子中larger 应改为wider, is应改为are.
2. 她作文的前两段占据篇幅过多，反而建议部分显得比较单薄，建议将一二段缩成一段，并对建议部分加以丰富。
现将贺维艺同学的作文稍加修改作为范文：
C贺维艺
Dear Mr Rogers,
I’m Andrew. I learnt from the news report that you are appointed as the chief architect for our city railway station. Would you mind my writing to ask if need of disabled people has been considered? I wonder if you would discuss the issue with me in sequence of getting on a train. Here is the advice.
It would be convenient that the entrance and the exit of the station are designed near the parking lot, which can be reserved and benefit those with walking disability. Besides, it would help to adapt some stairs to wheelchairs while fixing adjustable seats in the huge waiting hall. Since disabled people tend to call for more care, more specially-built toilets as well as more evident signs are required. Eventually when disabled people are going aboard, would you broadened the passage appropriately in case of the crowds rushing?
Thanks for going through my suggestions, which are supposed to meet with your kind approval. We are looking forward to a considerate railway station where disabled people can go on as satisfactory and comfortable journey as the able-bodied.
Would you mind taking those above into consideration?
Yours sincerely,
Andrew