在很多中国父亲的眼中,一个好男人、好父亲是不能在事业上失败的,即使暂时牺牲家庭成员的关系,也需要先为家人谋取丰厚的物质生活基础,这才是实实在在的爱。本文作者生于商贾之家,她的成长经历让人看到了在富足生活背后隐藏的心酸和无奈。用物质表达爱是一种方式,但家人需要的是亲密的、高于金钱的相处模式。 In the eyes of many Chinese fathers, a good man and a good father can not fail in their careers. Even if they temporarily sacrifice their family members’ relations, they need to seek a generous material foundation for their families. This is a real love. The author of this article was born in the Merchants’ House, and her growth experience has given people a sense of sadness and helplessness hidden behind rich life. To express love in material terms is one way, but family members need intimate, over-money mode of living.