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We all have that one or two friends who are not really our friends. We just stand them because for whatever reason, we don’t have the heart to let them go. Maybe we don’t want to hurt them. Maybe they’re lonely. Maybe we’re lonely. In the end, the reason really doesn’t matter. What does matter is that we’re wasting our energy on an undeveloped friendship and the other person is being horribly misled (误导). It’s not really fair on either end, is it? Although it’s easier said than done, there are some ways to end the friendship without too many hurt feelings.
1. Be honest... just not too honest (诚实但不要过于诚实)
Put yourself in your friend’s position. Just like in a romantic relationship, wouldn’t you want to be told that your friendship is going nowhere? It’s probably nicer to just say that your interests aren’t the same. This doesn’t mean you two should avoid each other or anything! It just means that maybe you two just aren’t meant to be friends anymore.
2. Stop the social media (停止社交媒体关注)
Stop liking all his/her photos and saying a few words on anything. Did he/she write a crazy text post on Tumblr(微博客)? It probably doesn’t need an answer from you any more. Your lives are away from her/him now, so the social media thing can be put to rest. Although this probably goes without saying, a birthday post is totally a little more to the “used to be friends but not really anymore” boundary (界限).
3. Avoid deep talks (避免深谈)
Okay, it happens. Sometimes you’re with a huge group of friends and someone asks a heavy question like, “What happens when you die?” Then, before you know it, it’s three in the morning. These kinds of talks push people together, but remember that it’s separation(分手) that you’re aiming for—not bonding(增強信任关系).
4. Don’t feel sad and sorry (不要难过、不用道歉)
It’s easy to feel like you’re giving up someone when you end a friendship, but think of it more like giving yourself(and him/her!) room. Remember that this isn’t a decision you made lightly and to always meet your needs. In the end, this is what is best for everyone. You don’t have to keep an unhappy friendship alive, and he/she doesn’t need to stay in one.
5. Learn from it (学会放弃)
The most common reason for ending a friendship is growing up. If it was simply outgrowing(因长大成熟而放弃) the friendship, feel proud of yourself for growing up and moving to a new stage in your life. This has nothing to do with the other person because staying the same isn’t good! It’s just also important to recognize that change is not bad as well.
1. Be honest... just not too honest (诚实但不要过于诚实)
Put yourself in your friend’s position. Just like in a romantic relationship, wouldn’t you want to be told that your friendship is going nowhere? It’s probably nicer to just say that your interests aren’t the same. This doesn’t mean you two should avoid each other or anything! It just means that maybe you two just aren’t meant to be friends anymore.
2. Stop the social media (停止社交媒体关注)
Stop liking all his/her photos and saying a few words on anything. Did he/she write a crazy text post on Tumblr(微博客)? It probably doesn’t need an answer from you any more. Your lives are away from her/him now, so the social media thing can be put to rest. Although this probably goes without saying, a birthday post is totally a little more to the “used to be friends but not really anymore” boundary (界限).
3. Avoid deep talks (避免深谈)
Okay, it happens. Sometimes you’re with a huge group of friends and someone asks a heavy question like, “What happens when you die?” Then, before you know it, it’s three in the morning. These kinds of talks push people together, but remember that it’s separation(分手) that you’re aiming for—not bonding(增強信任关系).
4. Don’t feel sad and sorry (不要难过、不用道歉)
It’s easy to feel like you’re giving up someone when you end a friendship, but think of it more like giving yourself(and him/her!) room. Remember that this isn’t a decision you made lightly and to always meet your needs. In the end, this is what is best for everyone. You don’t have to keep an unhappy friendship alive, and he/she doesn’t need to stay in one.
5. Learn from it (学会放弃)
The most common reason for ending a friendship is growing up. If it was simply outgrowing(因长大成熟而放弃) the friendship, feel proud of yourself for growing up and moving to a new stage in your life. This has nothing to do with the other person because staying the same isn’t good! It’s just also important to recognize that change is not bad as well.